Don't Say It

When's bubs due?

Are you guys expecting?

Oh, I bet we're due around the same time!

Aww, is this next one a boy or girl?

Congratulations! When are you due?

When you said you'd been sick, I just knew!

Are you...?? (pats belly, raised eyebrows, knowing smile)

Alright people. I've let it lie for a long time, but with the whole Kate Middleton one day post-delivery baby bump chatter, I had to throw in my two cents. Which is pretty much summed up perfectly in:

THIS ARTICLE

You've probably already seen it passed around FB but if not, seriously, please read it - it's beautiful. A mother's body is an incredibly amazing thing that goes through miraculous and mind-blowing transformation as it grows and feeds a baby. In fact, it's one of my favorite things about pregnancy, the magic show that is my body - especially as watched through the older siblings' eyes.

But it takes 9 months to get there. And should be allowed to take as much time to return to it's new normal afterwards. Or more time, if you're breastfeeding. In fact, my particular body needs about 12 months, or until the last drop of the last milk has been suckled out of it, before I lose that last 10 lbs or so. And while I've been blessed to never feel too self-conscious about my weight or shape, it has only been that year after giving birth that I've felt uncomfortable with my frame, in large part due to the number of times I receive the comments listed above. And I am not alone! I've commiserated with quite a few friends about this.

My point is... If it's not your body, DON'T comment on it.

If you're not 100% sure a woman is pregnant (ie: she is in her hospital gown at the maternity ward) DON'T ask if she's expecting - or when her due date is - or if it's a boy or a girl.

If you are not a family member, DON'T touch another woman's belly without asking! (It's awkie enough when she is pregnant, but what if she's not??)

And if it's you this is happening to - decide on a good response beforehand to avoid tears of frustration afterwards! I go with "Oh, my body holds onto the baby belly until I'm done nursing." OR  "Nope, not pregnant, just leftovers from this beautiful little babe." OR "Well, it was my fifth, so...(cutmesomefreakin'slackwhydontcha)" OR the selfless approach "No, no, don't worry about it - I get asked that all the time!"

It's awesome. I just wish people were a titch more sensitive to the incredible sacrifice (physical and otherwise) it is to bear and raise children. I mean, I can take all the prodding and squishing and "when are you going to be skinny again?" from my own kids, but we really shouldn't have to take it from strangers or especially friends, right? (I promise you - if you're tempted to confirm how cool you are for "sensing" that a friend is pregnant before they're willing to go public, Just Don't. The risks far outweigh the benefits.)

That's just my two cents. Ladies, be proud of those amazing bodies, whatever shape they're in! And let's try to celebrate the bodies of our friends with the same respect by not saving our compliments only for when she's lost a bunch of weight.

But if it happens to you... shrug it off. Have a laugh! Have a cry even. But love that miraculous body and be patient with it. It brought your your perfect babies! It's one of your biggest blessings and glories and should be treated with kindness and grace, no matter what shape or size it is today. But remember, just because someone "has a soft spot for pregnant mommies" doesn't mean you have to go through the rigamarole of setting them straight, either - just take that offered seat or opened door, guilt free and enjoy it, sister! You still deserve it and are saving you both from an awkward conversation. :)