Birthing Outside the Box

When we had Will ten years ago, I'd read a couple pregnancy books, but I've since realized how uninformed I was about my options in childbirth. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to lay out some of the things I did differently this time, in case anyone else was interested in the unconventional with me. Here are a few things we included in our Birth Plan this time around:

1. Natural Birthing (ie: no medication/augmentation) - with Summer I only wanted to see if I could do it. Like a marathon, I knew it wouldn't be fun, but it was a challenge women had achieved for centuries and I wanted to try. But I've read so much since that makes me seriously wary of medical intervention (pitocin, epidurals, etc.) in the absence of a true emergency. I've done both and I don't judge anyone else's decision. I do think if we believed more in a woman's body, we might trip it up less and make birthing faster/easier by just allowing it to birth how it was made to. With such a delicate balance of hormones involved, every intervention almost necessitates another by interrupting the natural process. You can see why there are such high Caesarian rates these days. Not to mention the lack of knowledge on how these powerful drugs affect our tiny newborns... I'm not saying it's for everyone, but with my first birth I didn't even consider it. I wish someone had told me to have a little more trust and give my body a chance. Birth can be pretty awesome and empowering. And babies come out so calm and alert, drug-free. (My method of choice was relaxation and self-hypnosis, but there are plenty of techniques out there.)


2. Labor Positions - did you know that lying on your back is considered one of the least effective positions to give birth? Wish someone had told me that my first 3 times around. (However, with all I was hooked up to, that became my only option I suppose.) Help your body out! Move around, get in the bath, walk, sit on the birthing ball or rocking chair, squat, sway, kneel on all fours, belly dance. Let gravity help a sista out.

3. Delayed Cord Clamping - we asked the doctor to not clamp or cut the umbilical cord until it had completely stopped pulsing. There is a placental transfusion that occurs in those moments after birth that gives baby a significant amount of oxygenated blood as a jump start on life. It too often gets prevented by the medically efficient habit of immediate cord clamping. It's only a few minutes extra, but worth the wait.

4. Natural Placenta Delivery - often mothers will be given a shot of pitocin or other contraction-inducing drug post-birth to speed up the ejection of the placenta. However, in the majority of cases, this will naturally occur within the first half hour without any added drugs to affect the mother or her milk. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

5. Taking My Placenta - now this is the biggie. I've always had a fairly open mind to new ideas, but I know it can be hard to wrap your head around this one. Don't judge, just hear me out. Animals eat their placentas after birth. There's a reason for this. It's natural, albeit it not mainstream, and many mothers in some cultures still do it today. In fact, a short Google search will pull up pages of "recipes" even for steaming, stewing, or blending your placenta for consumption. Why?? Fair question. There hasn't been a whole lot of research, but I have yet to find one negative review from a mom who's done it. It's most highly praised for preventing post partum depression. Basically, it's a way to rebalance your body's hormones more efficiently, allowing you to recover faster. It boosts milk supply (#1 reason I'm doing it), helps stop your bleeding faster, raises iron levels after bloodloss at birth, restores hormone balance (with all the emotional benefits to boot) and is basically your body's gift to you and your baby. Your body goes through much trauma at birth and undergoes immense hormone changes and taking your placenta restores that balance almost immediately rather than wading through weeks of turbulent recovery. It's like the perfect healing concoction, made by you, specifically for you with the perfect amounts of nutrients/chemicals your individual body needs. I realize this may still sound way too strange (my sister asked, "So are you planning to drink your own breastmilk too?") but hey, don't knock it 'til you try it.

 (I'll spare you gory pics of the whole glorious thing, but I did decide to try a bit raw the first day "before processing" so I could get a jump start on the benefits. Made easier to swallow in pill form...)

        I have my impressive friend Jenny to thank for introducing me to the idea. I decided against the "smoothie" or "roast" route and paid to have my placenta encapsulated. I had to search all over for someone who would provide the service here, but she was wonderful. (Basically she steamed, sliced, dehydrated, and pulverized it to a powder before filling the empty capsules. Not something I felt up to doing at the time and D had officially signed off the job. She even sent me home with pics of her procedure - at my curious mom's request.) Also a doula, she's just started to be more open about providing this service and has had a lot of growing interest. We put mine in a labeled container in the hospital fridge and she retrieved it, processed it, and brought my capsules back the next day. All 180 of them - wahoo! Best part about encapsulation? You can keep them indefinitely in the freezer and take a pill whenever you're having an off day (moody, stressed, fatigued, menopause, etc.) It's a total quick fix! I took them three times a day the first few weeks and my bleeding stopped quicker than in the past. I honestly didn't even have one "blue day" either - you know when you're sort of recovering and whacked out and any little thing makes you cry? It was astounding. I was cheerful and fun with the kids and able to handle the stresses of an added child really well compared to past experience. As I weaned off them last week I intended to take just one a day for another month. However, after a few particularly snappy remarks during a stressful dinner hour, Darren asked "have you by chance taken your pill today?" Uh... nope. Not for two days actually. The stuff's amazing. In fact, just the other day D sent me a text saying "I'll be home late. Don't forget to take your pill. Love you." So whenever I start yelling at the kids or getting really impatient or overwhelmed I usually find that's the culprit. Is there a better reason than that to try out something so unconventional? Bye bye baby blues!

6. Circumcision -  Won't go into much on this, but I suggest doing some research on it. Did you know that most countries around the world don't regularly circumcise little boys? It's no longer considered medically necessary or "more clean" in fact, I could only find ONE doctor here who even performs them. It's considered an unnecessary "violation" and even brutally cruel by lots of folks. I had my eyes opened to all sorts of risks/arguments I had never considered before. Just saying, it's a decision that deserves some thought before automatically having it done because it's the social norm.

7. And finally (huge congrats if you're still reading this post) Tandem Nursing - yes, I'm still nursing my toddler. It started out as one big experiment. My milk dried up around 10 months with the first three and finally I realized it coincided with starting regular exercise. Well, I figured I'd just see how long it lingered if I didn't exercise this time around and voila, I nursed right through the pregnancy. (Yes, I haven't exercised regularly in almost 3 years, not sure if that's stupid or brilliant.) I had very little milk until about 2 months ago when the colostrum apparently arrived in preparation for birth - cause Summer was all over that. And when my milk came in, whoa. She became obsessed. She wants to nurse every time Desmond does which is sort of a problem. So, we've limited it to just before naps/bed so I'm not completely attached all day (she'll stay on an hour if I let her, which I tended to do while bedridden in the early recovery days.)

       Now before you get all worried for poor Des, I've read up on it and it's completely fine as long as baby gets fed first. Think about it, women nurse multiples all the time - milk is a supply and demand thing. So they're both happy. She even got the old mustard-y diapers again at the beginning. The funniest part is when they eat at the same time. It's like a circus act, stacking babies and contorting into strange positions, but it has been great. I'd recommend it. Seeing Summer cuddle up or stroke him gently while they're both at the breast is a pretty awesome little circle of love. But I realize it's not for everyone. I will wean when she's ready or when I'm just over it. I found a lot of good advice and practical info from friends and the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Just throwing it out there for those who think they have to wean the second they get pregnant with #2. You've got options.

So there you have it. Am I weird? I didn't include things like immediate breastfeeding skin-to-skin (to perfectly regulate temperature, establish bonding, etc.) or delayed bathing (so vernix has a chance to reabsorb and nourish newborn skin) because fortunately I believe that's becoming widely accepted as protocol. And while I'm totally interested in a waterbirth in front of the fireplace, I'm certainly not brave enough to birth unattended at home (like cjane.)

But raise your hand if this post has made you officially think I'm a complete and total nut job... :)

Desmond

 It's about time for the official announcement post, eh?

DESMOND LLOYD MITCHELL

 3:45am July 25th, 2012 

(exactly one week late) 

8 lbs 3 oz

Here are the deets (again, if this sort of stuff makes you queasy, feel free to skip right along.)

 Although I had been having practice waves (oft called Braxton Hicks, but how silly is it to name a natural occurance in a pregnant woman's body after a doctor who claimed to "discover" it??) for weeks and weeks, on July 24th they became more "noticeable" throughout the day. I kept busy with regular errands and schedules but told Darren that it felt a bit different. We were actually together all morning picking up our repaired car, washing/dropping off the borrowed car, etc. Twice when I was using the bathroom I found bits of my mucous plug (one of D's favorite terms!) and figured these waves were finally doing something to my cervix. I started tentatively hoping this might be the real deal and we even had some nice spicy malaysian food for lunch to move it along. By dinner I had to breathe through a few waves at which my family started taking notice. Mom kept saying, "this is a good sign" and we were all smiles. That night after kids were in bed and a few laundry loads and clean up jobs were done I finally sat down to time them. It was more out of curiosity than anything since I'd been going nonstop all day. Mom hit the hay at a reasonable hour "just in case" and Darren was just settling into bed - we were both shocked to find they were 6 minutes apart, lasting a minute. Although I'd never had "fast" labors, this being my fifth I knew to take notice in case my body kicked into gear quickly. That was at 11pm. We rolled our eyes that I always seem to go into labor at the beginning of the night which makes for frustrating fatigue! I kept timing them while doing random things and tried to sleep to one of my Hypnobabies tracks at about 1:00am. I found I could catch sleep between surges for an hour but when I started to get mini waves at two minutes between the 6 min intervals it became too intense. I got out of bed and walked around a bit. Breathing deep and slow and staying super relaxed was key to managing as they grew. With each wave I tried to visualize what my body was doing which made them seem less painful and more productive. I called the hospital at 2am who said to come right in. I told Darren "it's time" and actually started to get a bit shaky and nauseous as I gathered bags and made last minute overseas insurance calls. D was surprised to be awakened so soon, thinking I would labor in the bath at home for a while like last time, but hopped up to wake GramB and the kids. (A few months back we'd decided to share the birth experience with our bigger kids. They'd been begging me to have it at home so they could witness, but I had to think about it for a while. After some informative books and carefully selected online videos of calm Hypnobirths, I could tell they were sufficiently mature to be there. They were ecstatic and have been so excited every day leading up to this, each night saying "maybe this is the night!")

 With huge smiles and big eyes, they got shoes and coats on and headed to the car. I had been using the toilet a lot and knew the shakes and nausea were a good sign of progression but didn't dare let myself hope I was that far along yet. When I started needing to vocalize through each wave with semi-loud middle of the night "aaahs" and "peace" everyone knew this was it. We woke the cousins to let them know they were in charge of Summer and left the house. As we drove we both were encouraged, never having had things progress so quickly like this. I'm not gonna lie, each "pressure wave" hurt, (so much for my hoped-for "pressure, not pain" experience,) but deep breathing, hearing the hypnosis tracks in my ear and the distraction of vocalizing and transportation all helped me manage the discomfort very well and at least not get overwhelmed. Hypnobabies program teaches a lot of different tools such as "eyes open hypnosis" and "hypno-anesthesia" which go above and beyond the deep relaxation and visualization I'd used with Summer. I found it very helpful. We arrived at 2:20 am and my mom took the kids off to my recovery room while D helped me settle into the delivery suite. I had asked for the bath to be filled and was anxious to get in to ease the shakes and nausea that tend to throw me for a loop, but they had to monitor me/baby on the bed for 20 minutes first. Laying there wasn't my favorite. I vocalized through the waves like I was the only one there and it wasn't the middle of the night. (Hopefully I didn't disturb any sleeping ladies in recovery?) I probably would rather have walked around though since the distraction seemed to help. Baby was fine and the midwife finally checked me at 4-5 cms. Great. On the way to the bath I stopped to use the toilet and was slammed with three pressure waves in a row. I could hardly even sit down and certainly couldn't use the toilet. I did make some involuntary pushing sounds which got the midwife very nervous, saying we needed to get me back in bed. I adamantly resisted being moved. She checked me there saying the head was low and I might be fully dilated. I thought "What?! Wasn't I barely at 5 cms twenty seconds ago??" I reluctantly let them walk me back to the bed (desperately wanted to labor in that warm water!!) but willing to do anything to get the waves to stop. (In hindsight I wish I'd just insisted on getting in the bath to slow things down.) She called my OB saying to get there quick and I got a few minutes break between waves again. I was shaking quite hard and needed D to massage my legs to calm me. He was great - and I kept him on his toes with my constant requests for water (so thirsty!) He kept looking me in the eyes with a big smile and saying "you're doing it, this baby's going to be here soon!" My OB was a friend of ours (another parent from school) and when she arrived and checked me, she said the head was pretty low and I could have this baby quick if I wanted to. Well, that sounded good, but I still couldn't believe I was there yet. When she said I could push whenever I wanted, I was floored. I was really that far along?! Problem was, I had no urge to push. And the waves were starting to discourage me. I'm not sure if I was very deep in hypnosis at this point because my "directed anesthesia" didn't seem to be touching the pain much. It was suggested that I resume a standing or sitting position to get that pushing urge back like in the bathroom, but sitting up in bed didn't do it. I got to the "I don't want to do this anymore" stage, a bit panicky and worried, but then she reminded me that if I could just push baby out, it would stop hurting.

We brought my mom and kids in and I loved seeing their excited faces. I said between waves, "You guys ready to have a baby?!" They were nervous, and quiet and totally stoked. I loved that I was so close (even remember saying, "this is so easy!" between waves) but just didn't think I could possibly push him out on my own without having that urge. Felt sorta helpless. Like I was way too weak to bring about such a force that I knew needed to happen to birth. My "pushing" was only half hearted since it hurt rather than felt uncontrollable/good/natural like last time when I hardly did a thing. (At Summer's birth I couldn't have stopped the pushing, my body simply took over and expelled her, but this time there was nothing, no oomph.) At this point doc got worried about my bleeding and baby's heart rate dropping and said "baby's not happy, you've gotta bear down and get this baby out or I'll have to intervene" (ie: the vacuum.) The midwife suggested I kneel over back of the bed and that sounded good. Never tried that one before but I was up for anything. I was able to breathe/push baby down a bit between waves, which hurt less but still wasn't too effective. There was a sense of urgency now though so I finally just held my breath and pushed with everything I could muster. I actually felt the baby slowly slide down the birth canal. Whoa. Now that's a sensation you can't describe. I would have preferred to breathe him down like before, but really needed to bear down stronger this time, sorta forced. Held my breath with another huge push and out came the head, a bit faster than expected so I had a small tear, darn it. "Whoa!" they all said, "stop now, hold off!" Cord was around his neck so she got him unwrapped and rotated (me gasping) and then one more insane push and out came our boy. I sorta collapsed over the back of the bed from the intensity and didn't like that I could not really see what was happening, but that definitely was the key position for me in getting baby out this time. It was a bit messy sitting around and getting stitched up in all the aftermath but we had a solid two hours of immediate skin on skin and nursing and he hardly made a peep. That's what I love about "hypno births" - such calm, sweet tempered babies, probably from months of mommy's daily self hypnosis practice. All in all it was a fantastic, short (less than 5 hrs - wahoo!) and relatively easy birth. While not simply "pressure" or pain free it was definitely "more comfortable" as promised. The hypnosis truly allowed me to relax and handle the waves long enough to allow my body to naturally and efficiently birth how it was made to and gave me the confidence to achieve it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat - but if there's a next time, it's definitely going to be at home in the water. That sounds just about perfect.

The kids were so thrilled. They couldn't believe it. Will got the privilege of cutting the cord. (He even keeps the scissors he used on his dresser.) And Des was so red and tiny and perfect. They touched his hands and face then headed home for some sleep (poor Kenna was fighting off the flu but wasn't about to miss this.) I finally got washed up and took my soak in the tub then moved into the recovery room where we all fell asleep around 6am. It was pretty exhilarating and exhausting and awesome. And now we have another son. I'll tell you what, there is no happier boy on the planet about that little fact, than this guy. :)

Birth Stories

Why yes, looks like I will be pregnant forever.

Since still nothing is happening on THIS particular birth (nearing a week over "guess date") I thought I'd record a few details from previous births... feel free to skip this post if that's not your thang.

((I've recently read a plethora of books about the spiritual/natural process of birthing and am very attracted to such. The reading has incited many feelings of frustration about how medicalized birth has become in our society and I have a strong desire to see change in that department. Too many women don't realize that birth can be a beautiful, natural, and safe occurrence (as it has been for eons before) rather than a "medical condition" that needs doctors to augment and manipulate it to happen safely. Too many are driven by fear of pain to cheat themselves out of a safe and satisfying birth experience by too much medical intervention that messes around with the delicate balance of natural hormones the body makes to enable a pleasant birth experience. That said, there are things I would change about my previous births, despite all of them being rather positive experiences. (ie: medication/induction/augmentation - there just hasn't been enough research to back up the safety of such interventions on mother and baby longterm.) Also, a caveat: hospitals, doctors and medical science is an absolute blessing and lifesaver in the proper emergency circumstances and I don't discount its value. I just think we need not treat every pregnancy as a medical emergency waiting to happen. Be patient and trust a woman's body - it was made to birth successfully!!))

William (8 lbs 10 oz): Being our first, we took the hospital recommended birthing class (Bradley method) which was semi-informative. Told us more what to expect when birthing in the hospital setting, our pain med options and such. It did cover a few breathing techniques that I didn't use... Labor started 3 days past my due date with my water breaking at about 3am when I laid down after using the bathroom. It was exciting and funny and we were really pumped. Darren LOVED using the shoulder of the road to bypass morning traffic on our way to the hospital around 6am - seeing as no cop could give us a ticket in that instance! My contractions were monitored in triage for an hour, then I was admitted. Only about 4 centimeters, I labored for most of the day laying down hooked up to monitors, IVs and pitocin. Hours later, I began vomiting repeatedly and shaking like a leaf. Discouraged at only being dilated to 5 cm I asked for the epidural. It went in great and I started laughing and smiling as I was released from the clutches as if into a warm bath. Darren finally relaxed as well and we slept for a couple hours. Finally at just past midnight, Will was born with an episiotomy and 30 minutes of pushing. A nurse actually slipped in all the amniotic fluid that exploded from behind his body and his head was misshapen due to being in the canal for so long. But he was healthy and nursed like a champ. He did have to spent the night in the NICU for some circulation issues (hands turning blue) but was fine. We were living in Maryland at the time and my sister and mom came out for a week or so to help out and fun fact: our car was rear-ended (totaled) the day after delivery. My recovery was more painful than I expected, but fairly uneventful. Despite the 23 hour labor, I was satisfied.

McKenna (7 lbs 11 oz): I don't even remember who delivered Kenna. Both births I was with a group of 8 or so OBGYNS and managed to meet most of them, but still hardly knew the one on call for delivery. It didn't bother me much seeing as the nurses were really the ones helping me through labor. My water broke 4 days before due date while playing with Will at the neighborhood pool. I wasn't sure it happened since I was in the water so I jumped in the hot tub for a sec then sat out to evaluate. It felt like I was perpetually peeing my pants so I gathered up our paraphenalia and walked the stroller home as contractions started coming on. Darren was at a night class at Georgetown after work and had unfortunately turned his phone OFF, so despite all my messages, he didn't get them until he was on the hour long commute home. Not cool! I managed to clean up a bit and get Will into bed and he arrived around 8pm as our friend came over to spend the night. At the hospital I was admitted and again suffered from severe vomiting and shaking hours later at around 5 cms. I think I was on pitocin to move things along but can't remember. I just felt a total loss of control and freaked out at the intensity of vomiting during contractions and was devastated to have to wait an hour for the epidural. Once again though, it was perfectly executed and I got a couple hours of sleep. I was awakened around 4am being told I needed to start pushing and I begged for more sleep, but obeyed. Only two pushes this time and no tearing or episiotomy. She was quiet and purplish but healthily nursed a solid hour and a half. Again, satisfied with the birth, despite not having use of legs for almost the rest of the day.

Annie (7 lbs, 4 oz): I don't remember Annie's due date but she was born within 2 days of it. My water didn't break this time, but strong contractions started about 10pm. We went in around 3 am and were checked at 3 or 4 cms. They didn't want to admit me or call my doctor at that late hour unless I was further along so they suggested I walk the hospital for a few hours. Cue misery. For 2 hours we wandered the deserted building, slept on hard chairs for 5 minute increments between contractions and vomiting in Starbucks garbage cans. It was awful. Finally, we were admitted, the doc was called and I got the blessed epidural. Again, it was perfect, no side effects but again, slowed labor and I was put on pitocin. Slept for a few hours and had Annie in a couple pushes, even half sitting up and watching. I remember literally laughing between pushes, saying "this is just so easy - I love it!" The doctors agreed. Recovery quick and less painful than others and I spent a blissful couple days resting and eating her up all alone in the hospital. (We were in Salt Lake so there were a few family visitors.) Can't tell you how valuable those days are to me - nothing thrills me more than a good book, a baby and people bringing me as much food as I can eat.

Summer (7 lbs, 11 oz): Since all my previous pregnancies and deliveries had been uncomplicated (and fairly impersonal) I decided to go with a group of midwives. They were great, but still I hadn't had a chance to meet the one that ended up delivering me. Again, my water didn't break, but I was planning to go "natural" so I didn't mind having that extra buffer in place. Labor started middle of the night, as always (BLAST IT - can't we just have babies after a full night's rest, please??) maybe 5 days after due date and I slept off and on. Finally had to get into the bath to ease them and force Darren awake around 5am. I had studied a friend's Hypnobirthing materials (a textbook and CD relaxation tracks) but not actually taken the course. I wanted the "pressure, not pain" experience and listening to the tracks really helped me get into a very relaxed and focused place so as to not be overwhelmed by the pain. However, by by 6am I was definitely having "painful" pressure waves. We were triaged and monitored for a while, still talking/laughing between contractions, then admitted around 8. I walked, tried the birth ball, but felt most comfortable lying down completely still and limp through each wave. My midwife was awesome. Despite not having experience Hypnobirthing techniques, she picked up on the language from the CDs, kept voices and the lights low, massaged my feet/pressure points with essential oils and ran me a bath. Before I got in the water at 11am I was at 5cms and had taken a Zofran to quell the nausea that hits me then. Except for a few moans, I was completely inward focused and silent, even between contractions. So much so, that the nurse turned her attention to Darren, tucking him into a bed, bringing him dinner and telling him to rest for when I needed him. (I wasn't so pleased about this, but couldn't muster the energy to get him back over to my side.) He woke once I got in the bath and held my hand through transition. In less than an hour I was apparently at 10cms because all of a sudden everything changed. I can't even put my finger on it, the waves just felt different and I knew something was coming. I startled him into action saying "I need someone right now" and he ran out to grab nurses. My body started pushing. I wasn't doing a thing. The hospital didn't allow actual water births though so a bunch of people just scooped me out and onto the bed (oh how I hated that!) but oh well. A couple pushes later (and a whole lot of primal grunting/yells that shockingly was coming from me - like my throat was sore after) and Darren caught little Summer. She had a nuchal hand (held up to her face) so her head took a while to manuver, (out of body intensity for a bit there) but she arrived super calm, safe, alert and perfectly healthy. By far, our most even-natured and pleasant baby/child, I do credit much of that pleasant temperament to my months of self hypnosis practice and her calm, med-free birthing.

BABY BOY (?): Originally I'd signed up with some midwives at a birth center connected to the hospital here. But then I learned my friend (a parent from school) was just opening her OB practice after being a midwife for 10 years, so I switched to her and will birth in a private hospital. I plan on using hypnosis again in the form of Hypnobabies, which includes even more tools and practice of powerful hypno-anesthesia. I've been diligent in listening to the CD tracks to practice each day and they employ "eyes-open hypnosis" as well so you can stay focused even while walking around and interacting instead of having to stay super still and limp in bed. I hope to use more birthing positions to speed/ease labor and am confident this will be an even more positive and peaceful birthing. I don't plan to use any type of medical intervention/induction and hope to surrender to my body completely and let it do its thing.

So, let's get this show on the road, shall we? I heard recently that babies born at 41 wks or after are better at math/reading later in life, so I can't complain, but I sure do hope my mom is still around to help out a bit since that's kinda the reason for the visit. Crossing my fingers for today. In fact, we're all heading up the hill for a big, energetic walk right now. I've tried every natural thing I could get my hands on, and still holding on to castor oil as a last resort... stay tuned!