Dates & Discipline

Chore Charts - love 'em or hate 'em? I love them. We've had a plethora over the years, but these current ones seem to really be sticking. Probably because they got to create them and mostly choose what things they're rewarded for. Now that we're beyond the "stay dry at night" and "flush the potty" stages, we're looking to improve all around character and the choices they make. More complicated than a sticker chart, but more fun to see them make better choices too.

So each time they finish a whole column of dots, they get a date with mom or dad. That generally involves some quality time on a little outing and a small treat - or they can cash in a few for a bigger outing like movies with popcorn. In fact Will allowed his sisters to join him at the movies by donating the extra "dates" they hadn't earned yet, from his hard won chart. Now THAT's a life lesson!

As far as chores go, we've moved away from a fortnightly allowance, to assigning $ to daily household chores. Do as many chores as you want to get as much $ as you want. Plus a bonus for doing all your jobs every single day that week. Darren was the mastermind there, and while I'm annoyed they don't HAVE to do their stuff anymore, I'm learning patience as I quit prodding and allow natural consequences to occur. We still need to tweak how much they must purchase on their own to make it motivating enough (special lunches at school, friends' birthday gifts, new shoes, etc.), but we're getting there. Here's Summer joining Annie and my "date" to make cookies.

I'm finding it's all about ownership. Kenna earned an maturity dot for proudly making dinner as a Faith in God assignment. Homemade mac'n'cheese. Yum. Sometimes Will even makes use of his early rising and prepares all three of their lunches, knowing at least 2 dots will be rewarded. What a nice start to the day. Even Sums is getting in on it.

Summer tells me she's "getting an effort dot" by emptying a tissue box and wrapping little jams up - heart melter

I'm trying to move away from all the lecturing and punishing by focusing as much as possible on rewarding the good. It's difficult. I find it hard to resist a good lecture in the heat of the moment. Or a nice lengthy time out. But I'm reading a fascinating book called Hold Onto Your Kids and it's giving me all sorts of exciting motivation to change my ways. Fix the relationship and the behavior will fix itself. I love it. Read it. I'm sure I'll need to do a whole other post once I'm finished. (Long, slow start with all the descriptions of today's parenting problems but really worth the read.)

The lawn has never been so trim. I'm getting doors opened for me and nagging way less. And they're learning to be generous as they share points to bail someone out. It'll be interesting to see how well it works out for Christmas presents though. We chose names and I've seen a lot of cash being blown on candy/treats instead of saved up for the sibling they've got. Hmmmmm.

What do you do to reward and/or discipline your littles? I'm always up for new ideas.

Aus Specialties

Australianisms continue...

juice poppers (juice boxes)
plate (retainer)
doona (comforter/quilt)
icy pole (popsicle)
stitch (cramp)
pop off (head out)
rock up (arrive unannounced)
wagged (tired out)
star jumps (jumping jacks)
diary (calendar - this one got me a few times)
zips (zippers)
wardrobe (closet)
coach (bus)
got it sorted (worked things out)
booking (reservation and also, getting a ticket/fine)

'Tis also the land of huge and intimidating bugs. I found this guy climbing into our garage fridge this afternoon as I was closing it. We put the jar on Will's pillow for a welcome home after school :)

And might I throw in a word about the recent spider dramas too. Y'all know that there are all sorts of venomous creepy crawlies down under, but seriously, it's time to spray again because we've had no less than 10 encounters in the last week alone. A couple of huge hairy Huntsmans on helmets and sleeping bags, some serious webs explored by Summer, one or two medium sized spiders on the couch, another tickling Annie's arm inside her sleeve (poor girl couldn't hop up and down or run away stranded there by the side of the pool without her crutches - just screamed and screamed) and one just now repelled down from the ceiling between my face and the computer screen. Talk about learning to live with them... I don't usually mind, but this is getting ridiculous.

Thanks to Give

Definitely not a traditional Thanksgiving this year. In the craziness of recent weeks, we neither extended nor received any dinner invites so we dressed up and ate at the local club restaurant. (Bonus: it was still cheaper than buying a turkey here.) Then we almost went camping. And while all of us truly missed the food comas and family celebrations, at least I was extremely grateful to come home to a clean kitchen (and avoid Black Friday shenanigans entirely.)

look closely - that Huntsman spider we found in our helmet is very much alive

We took some family bike rides. Went swimming next door. Had some unnerving run-ins with more than a few intimidatingly large spiders. Hit up Questacon. Napped. Took a three hour drive into the countryside. It was nice and relaxing and unconventional. But we missed you all, our friends and family that make such holidays complete. And we look forward to doing it right again next year. 'Cause really, a soup and salad bar for Thanksgiving dinner is simply not right - albeit definitely a memory.

We have so much to be grateful for. Health and strength and modern medicine and happiness. Gratitude remains on my mind because about an hour ago we had a near-death experience with a rather humongous kangaroo on the road. Somehow we managed not to be killed or have the car totaled by him or the ditch we almost ended up in. I could feel the adrenaline in my veins for an hour - it was terrifying. Life is sweet and fragile and deserves thanksgiving more often than it gets.

Instead of the Thanksgiving Tree this year we tried to see how long we could make our Thankful list.

Hope you all had a fantabulous Turkey Day and are enjoying heaps of cranberry and turkey sandwiches. Love from Australia - we miss you!

Summer Fun

not unusual to turn the corner and see this - repeated all over the house

tell me you miss this stage

On one of the recent American holidays when Darren didn't have to go in to work, he came down with the baby who he'd so kindly cleaned up after a massive blow out all over our bed. He was going to hand him off  but saw that I was fixing everyone lunch and on the phone, so he "bjorned" him. (An hour earlier Summer had bit Desmond's cheek, broken a glass and learned how to release her tray full of uneaten food to climb out of the high chair - so things were sort of a mess already.)

When I got off the phone he quietly said, "I naively thought that once you got Will and Kenna off to school, you had sort of an easy day with the little kids but I'm starting to realize that's not true..."

 Bless him.

As I went off to handle the mustard-y sheets (for the second time that week) I smiled at what relief it was simply to feel understood. So often during the day I crave another person who can roll their eyes with me at the ridiculousness of what just happened, but I usually get to enjoy those priceless moments solo. Kinda nice to share the crazy sometimes.

 Good thing she's so darn cute to help us forgive the mischief she creates. (Like when she takes scissors to the curtains and baby blankets - it's more difficult then.)

Despite being into spicy curries as a baby she's now our pickiest eater, so I get to do all sorts of backbends to make healthy food enticing. You know, to break up the monotony of nutella and zooper doopers.

And again I think to myself What are we doing having five kids? This is just insanity.

Double Digits

I can't believe we have a 10 year old. Amazing. I die a little inside every time he takes another step toward maturity; crushing on a girl or particular about his hair or excited about his first deodorant. But I remind myself it's all good - this is how it's meant to be so I better just enjoy the ride while we're still on it.

 I love this boy. Poor soul has had the brunt of all our parenting experiments, but is thankfully ever-forgiving. Totally into music, he's starting to hone the moves to match his grooves. He's an active one - always has been. And while he keeps us on our toes, I love his socialite tendencies. Always the first to suggest an activity or pull out a game. A bit of a sensory kid, he craves touch and roughhousing and abhors uncomfortable clothing or haircuts. He's clever, conscientious, helpful and fun. Life gets boring, albeit quieter, when he's out of the house.

Will's festivities fortunately came before all the recent hullabaloo. Normally we keep things low key, but he offered to forgo gifts from us if we'd host his party at Laser Zone, and even agreed to pay for the pizza himself. Deal. It was a blast. And his friends were crazy energetic. And I was so glad to come home to a clean house. 

never shied away from the center of attention, this one

intently reviewing all their laser tag stats over pizza

 Almost every one of his friends gave him a different Nerf gun, so you can imagine the action that ensued around here in the days following... And his best mate cousin sent him this outrageous slingshot (that now we can't find because Dad hid it when the kids ran home in tears after Will hit a car on his first go, not knowing it would shoot way beyond the field, and the guy turned around and chewed the girls out because Will took off in fear - sad story. Don't worry, Mer, we'll try again when Dad remembers where he hid it and Will gets his nerve back after the trauma.)

Happy Birthday, my crazy boy. Although I sort of want to force you back into that little tow-headed toddler body that captured all our hearts, thanks for still letting me love on you so much despite your rapidly growing stature. And thanks for being a superb big brother and solid example to all your little sibs (except when you slingshot a car and let them take the heat for it.) You rock.

Hospitals Are Fun!

That's what Annie thinks. I'll tell ya, when you see your sick, injured or otherwise gloomy child perk up in the hospital play room after days of pain/trauma, your heart swells for those volunteers and donors that have created such a happy place for the healing.

first cast

Here are a few more pics of her stay, and the many gorgeous visitors and staff who helped cheer her up while we were there.

second cast

big sibs looking way more excited about the hospital food than a nauseous Annie

third cast - stabilizing rods allowed it to be smaller

Desmond was so good at cheering this little gal up after that first very rough night.


Dad told me she had confided, "I always wanted to know what it would feel like to have a broken leg. I wish I didn't know now."

sweet friends Isabelle and Jasmine

Friends from church and Daddy's work and school, bearing gifts and candy and balloons... she was such a lucky, happy girl with so much love. She was confused, asking "Why is everybody visiting me??" and then smiled when I told her it was because they loved her so much.

The Children's Ward "Captains" in charge of all the fun and games

her favorite nurse, Annie #2

I have to share that the Paediatrics Ward said they had heard talk before she arrived of this amazing 6 year old who was smiling in the E.R. despite her nasty break. She blew all the staff away - they kept remarking each day how brave and impressive she was and that they've seen a lot more tears for much smaller injuries. (She's always been our tough cookie!)











Bit of a learning curve with those crutches and stairs, but she was a real trooper. Of course her favorite thing to do was raise her bed all the way up, especially when certain nurses looked the other way and allowed her the fun.

It was actually fairly traumatic for Annie when we visited the site of the event. But after a quick pep talk, she perked up and was back playing like a champ.

got hurt right next to this spinning cage dealio - not dangerous at ALL

After almost two weeks home from school, she's itching to be back at it again. She had a little fall at church, but is getting steadier each day so it won't be long...

loving this bear Grandma sent who also has a broken leg

Heartfelt thanks again to such beautiful friends and family who strengthened us all with their love, concern, and prayers. The ordeal was significantly lightened and lessened due to such huge amounts of loving service given us!