When we had Will ten years ago, I'd read a couple pregnancy books, but I've since realized how uninformed I was about my options in childbirth. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to lay out some of the things I did differently this time, in case anyone else was interested in the unconventional with me. Here are a few things we included in our Birth Plan this time around:
1.
Natural Birthing (ie: no medication/augmentation) - with Summer I only wanted to see if I could do it. Like a marathon, I knew it wouldn't be fun, but it was a challenge women had achieved for centuries and I wanted to try. But I've read so much since that makes me seriously wary of medical intervention (pitocin, epidurals, etc.) in the absence of a true emergency. I've done both and I don't judge anyone else's decision. I do think if we believed more in a woman's body, we might trip it up less and make birthing faster/easier by just allowing it to birth how it was made to. With such a delicate balance of hormones involved, every intervention almost necessitates another by interrupting the natural process. You can see why there are such high Caesarian rates these days. Not to mention the lack of knowledge on how these powerful drugs affect our tiny newborns... I'm not saying it's for everyone, but with my first birth I didn't even consider it. I wish someone had told me to have a little more trust and give my body a chance. Birth can be pretty awesome and empowering. And babies come out so calm and alert, drug-free. (My method of choice was relaxation and self-hypnosis, but there are plenty of techniques out there.)
2.
Labor Positions - did you know that lying on your back is considered one of the
least effective positions to give birth? Wish someone had told me that my first 3 times around. (However, with all I was hooked up to, that became my only option I suppose.) Help your body out! Move around, get in the bath, walk, sit on the birthing ball or rocking chair, squat, sway, kneel on all fours, belly dance. Let gravity help a sista out.
3.
Delayed Cord Clamping - we asked the doctor to not clamp or cut the umbilical cord until it had completely stopped pulsing. There is a placental transfusion that occurs in those moments after birth that gives baby a significant amount of oxygenated blood as a jump start on life. It too often gets prevented by the medically efficient habit of immediate cord clamping. It's only a few minutes extra, but worth the wait.
4.
Natural Placenta Delivery - often mothers will be given a shot of pitocin or other contraction-inducing drug post-birth to speed up the ejection of the placenta. However, in the majority of cases, this will naturally occur within the first half hour without any added drugs to affect the mother or her milk. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
5.
Taking My Placenta - now this is the biggie. I've always had a fairly open mind to new ideas, but I know it can be hard to wrap your head around this one. Don't judge, just hear me out. Animals eat their placentas after birth. There's a reason for this. It's natural, albeit it not mainstream, and many mothers in some cultures still do it today. In fact, a short Google search will pull up pages of "recipes" even for steaming, stewing, or blending your placenta for consumption. Why?? Fair question. There hasn't been a whole lot of research, but I have yet to find
one negative review from a mom who's done it.
It's most highly praised for preventing post partum depression. Basically, it's a way to rebalance your body's hormones more efficiently, allowing you to recover faster. It boosts milk supply (#1 reason I'm doing it), helps stop your bleeding faster, raises iron levels after bloodloss at birth, restores hormone balance (with all the emotional benefits to boot) and is basically your body's gift to you and your baby. Your body goes through much trauma at birth and undergoes immense hormone changes and taking your placenta restores that balance almost immediately rather than wading through weeks of turbulent recovery. It's like the perfect healing concoction, made
by you, specifically
for you with the perfect amounts of nutrients/chemicals your individual body needs. I realize this may still sound way too strange (my sister asked, "So are you planning to drink your own breastmilk too?") but hey, don't knock it 'til you try it.
(I'll spare you gory pics of the whole glorious thing, but I did decide to try a bit raw the first day "before processing" so I could get a jump start on the benefits. Made easier to swallow in pill form...)
I have my impressive friend
Jenny to thank for introducing me to the idea. I decided against the "smoothie" or "roast" route and paid to have my placenta encapsulated. I had to search all over for someone who would provide the service here, but she was wonderful. (Basically she steamed, sliced, dehydrated, and pulverized it to a powder before filling the empty capsules. Not something I felt up to doing at the time and D had officially signed off the job. She even sent me home with pics of her procedure - at my curious mom's request.) Also a doula, she's just started to be more open about providing this service and has had a lot of growing interest. We put mine in a labeled container in the hospital fridge and she retrieved it, processed it, and brought my capsules back the next day. All 180 of them - wahoo! Best part about encapsulation? You can keep them indefinitely in the freezer and take a pill whenever you're having an off day (moody, stressed, fatigued, menopause, etc.) It's a total quick fix! I took them three times a day the first few weeks and my bleeding stopped quicker than in the past. I honestly didn't even have one "blue day" either - you know when you're sort of recovering and whacked out and any little thing makes you cry? It was astounding. I was cheerful and fun with the kids and able to handle the stresses of an added child really well compared to past experience. As I weaned off them last week I intended to take just one a day for another month. However, after a few particularly snappy remarks during a stressful dinner hour, Darren asked "have you by chance taken your pill today?" Uh... nope. Not for two days actually. The stuff's amazing. In fact, just the other day D sent me a text saying "I'll be home late. Don't forget to take your pill. Love you." So whenever I start yelling at the kids or getting really impatient or overwhelmed I usually find that's the culprit. Is there a better reason than that to try out something so unconventional? Bye bye baby blues!
6.
Circumcision - Won't go into much on this, but I suggest doing some research on it. Did you know that most countries around the world don't regularly circumcise little boys? It's no longer considered medically necessary or "more clean" in fact, I could only find ONE doctor here who even performs them. It's considered an unnecessary "violation" and even brutally cruel by lots of folks. I had my eyes opened to all sorts of risks/arguments I had never considered before. Just saying, it's a decision that deserves some thought before automatically having it done because it's the social norm.
7. And
finally (huge congrats if you're still reading this post)
Tandem Nursing - yes, I'm still nursing my toddler. It started out as one big experiment. My milk dried up around 10 months with the first three and finally I realized it coincided with starting regular exercise. Well, I figured I'd just see how long it lingered if I didn't exercise this time around and
voila, I nursed right through the pregnancy.
(Yes, I haven't exercised regularly in almost 3 years, not sure if that's stupid or brilliant.) I had very little milk until about 2 months ago when the colostrum apparently arrived in preparation for birth - cause Summer was all over that. And when my milk came in, whoa. She became obsessed. She wants to nurse every time Desmond does which is sort of a problem. So, we've limited it to just before naps/bed so I'm not completely attached all day (she'll stay on an hour if I let her, which I tended to do while bedridden in the early recovery days.)
Now before you get all worried for poor Des, I've read up on it and it's completely fine as long as baby gets fed first. Think about it, women nurse multiples all the time - milk is a supply and demand thing. So they're both happy. She even got the old mustard-y diapers again at the beginning. The funniest part is when they eat at the same time. It's like a circus act, stacking babies and contorting into strange positions, but it has been great. I'd recommend it. Seeing Summer cuddle up or stroke him gently while they're both at the breast is a pretty awesome little circle of love. But I realize it's not for everyone. I will wean when she's ready or when I'm just over it. I found a lot of good advice and practical info from friends and the book
Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Just throwing it out there for those who think they have to wean the second they get pregnant with #2. You've got options.
So there you have it. Am I weird? I didn't include things like immediate breastfeeding skin-to-skin (to perfectly regulate temperature, establish bonding, etc.) or delayed bathing (so vernix has a chance to reabsorb and nourish newborn skin) because fortunately I believe that's becoming widely accepted as protocol. And while I'm totally interested in a waterbirth in front of the fireplace, I'm certainly not brave enough to birth unattended at home (like
cjane.)
But raise your hand if this post has made you officially think I'm a complete and total nut job... :)
If you're not nursing one, you're being climbed on by another or moving a few more over to grab a spot on the couch. Lots of needs for attention and conversation and snuggles and policing. And shoes. I think Will and Annie both had toes sticking out of the holes in their shoes for weeks before I could get out and buy new ones recently. Putting them all to bed takes hours. I don't even know if they've used soap in the bath or toothpaste on the toothbrush - it's a victory if they are all under the sheets by 9pm these days. Not to mention the food. These guys are LITTLE and we're still going through 5 gallons of milk, 2 trays of eggs, and crates of produce a week. I can't actually fit the whole week of groceries in the Costco cart along with the two babies. (I must have been a spectacle: simultaneously nursing the 3wk old, fetching the toddler's hotdog from the floor, and eating my lunch next to an overflowing cart of groceries precariously balanced atop the carseat in the cart.) It's a zoo. A crazy zoo - but we love it.
It's times like that when your heart bursts a little and you think "how can we not have 100 more??" Being the youngest of 6 kids myself (and Darren smack in the middle of 7) we dig the chaos. (Although, not the perpetual pig-sty - how is it that this is how the floor looks less than 24 hrs after vacuuming??)
